Heaven and Hell

He was a bank robber by profession, and for many years he had been extremely successful. On this particular day however something went wrong. Perhaps it was a question of bad timing. Perhaps it was due to poor judgement. Or perhaps it was because the security guard was extremely alert that day. For suddenly there came a flash and a shot rang out. He felt a sharp pain in his chest and fell to his knees, for the bullet had struck him in the heart.

He felt the life flow from him as the world around him began to fade, until finally the world was no more. How much time had elapsed before he opened his eyes once more he could not say. It could have been a second, it could have been a millennium. It took him a moment to readjust. He was perplexed.

“Where am I?” he thought to himself. “What has happened to me?”

He looked around and found himself in a great hall in which the walls and ceiling were all painted white. The room was very bright, but it contained no item of furniture save for the desk set in one corner, also painted white, behind which sat the most angelic being simply dressed in a white robe. Slowly he approached this being, and with a voice that was hesitant and filled with misgiving he inquired:

“Excuse me, but am I dead?”
“Yes” replied the being.”
You are indeed dead.”
“Then who are you?” he asked in a voice that trembled.

“I am here to serve your every need” came the reply, “and to provide for you all that you require.”

The man could not believe his good fortune, for his life had been filled with bad deeds and he had never believed in God. How could it be that he had ended up in Heaven? But being one who always made the most of any opportunity he kept quiet about his past misdeeds and instead enquired of the being;

“If this is where I am to stay then would it be possible to furnish the room?”

“Why certainly” replied the being. “What kind of furniture would you like?”

He carefully described the furniture he required including a four poster bed draped with lace, tapestries upon the wall, a chandelier made of diamonds, and ornaments fashioned out of ivory and gold. In the twinkling of an eye it was done, and he spent some time reclining on the bed in order to fully absorb the opulence which now surrounded him. After some time, though not before he felt thoroughly rested, he approached the being once more.

“Excuse me” he said. “But would it be possible to arrange for company?”

“What kind of company would you like?” enquired the being.

“I would like some girls” the man replied somewhat shyly.

“Then girls you shall have” answered the being, and in no time at all he found himself surrounded by twelve of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen, all eager to please him in whatever way they could. For two or three days he delighted in their company as they fed him with grapes and with exotic fruits, massaged him, danced for him, and provided him with whatever else it is that a man requires. Surely he was in Heaven!

After a few days however the novelty began to wear off and he began to feel restless. Approaching the being once again he enquired;
“Do you think it would be possible for me to get some action?”
“What kind of action would you like?” asked the being.
“Well I like to rob banks” he replied. “Do you think it could be arranged?”
“Most certainly” said the being. “In fact you can start right away.”

And so each day the man would go out to rob banks, and each time he was so successful that before long there was no more space in which to store all the money he had stolen. So he approached the being again, this time to request some means by which to spend the money.

“How would you like to spend the money?” asked the being.
“I enjoy gambling” he replied.
“Very well” said the being. “I will arrange it for you.”

That same evening he went out to gamble and was so successful that he brought home with him a whole suitcase full of money. The same thing happened the following night, and the night after, and the night after that, until there was simply no space to move in the room where he was staying, since the room was stacked up to the ceiling with money. Finally he decided to approach the being one more time.

“Something is wrong” he said.
“What is wrong?” asked the being.

“My room is wonderful” the man explained, “and the company delightful. The girls do everything I ask and they never complain. When I go out robbing banks I am always successful and never get caught, and whenever I gamble I never lose. I always win. It just feels wrong.”

“How often would you like to lose?” asked the being.

“No, that’s not it” replied the man. “You have been very kind to me and have provided me with all that I asked. But I am curious. I hope that you will not be offended if I ask if I can go and take a look at the other place just so that I can see what hell is like.”

The being slowly looked up to hold him in his gaze.

“I’m sorry” he said, “but it seems that there has been a misunderstanding. This is hell. For in hell you can have everything that you desire.... but you will never be satisfied!”/TE